Lonely life of an Escort

So I feel really lonely lately…I’ve been working everyday and the place I’m working out of is a condo and I’m the only girl here most of the time, and it feels like I spend my whole life here. I was really sick starting last friday through to monday and had to come into work for tuesday still not feeling 100%. And it’s been pretty slow because of the holidays I suppose, but Im really feeling pressued by the boss’s and it really fucking feels not very happy right now. Im bitchy and I don’t even want to be here, I’ve been blowing my little amount of money Ive made in the past few days on dope cuz I feel shitty and thats just making things worse. I have such a low temper threshold for idiots and unfortunately in this industry you get more bees with honey and we deal with a ton of morons. I gotta remember nothing is to be taken personally and it’s abou the money just like it’s about the sex with them. I guess my personal and social life is definately suffering, so Im bringing it into the work place and getting offended a lot and being bitchy at times and it’s not helping.

I’m going to just tell myself that I am still recovering from my sickness last week, and ya I fucked up with the dope, but things will get better. They always do after hard times. Life is so up and down, and I know from experience when life is shitty, if I try and make it better, it does get better. So im just going to try be more healthy, I have been not eating well and drinking a lot of alcohol, and plus being the only girl workig in this place is not good at all. I feel like a animal in a cage.

Anyway, reading other escorts adventures helps, it helps to know I am not the only woman who goes through these things, and that helps a lot. So thank you to all you girls out there Xo’s

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Tonight…

Well tonight was a big one for me…I admitted to myself that I have a problem. Now I don’t even know if I can admit it here on my blog, but atleast I admitted to myself. And so I came home and started doing a little research, and I guess that’s the first step to me, is just bringing it out in my mind that it is a problem. I may expand on this more later…

On another note, I have a date for Sunday I think! I’m really excited, this guy is looking for exactly what I am looking for…dates a few times per month, and what’s nice about him is that he’s very upfront and particular about what he offers and what he’s looking for in terms of time and money, which is nice. He was the first to bring up money, which is always uncomfortable to bring up as a woman and so it’s really nice when a man just asks or offers outright instead of making it that much more difficult. If he just says it outright it saves everyone from looking bad, or making it seem like a transaction, and instead of putting the woman in the position of having to ask, which is wrong in my opinion. A man should take the initiative with the money transaction, because first of all, he is the one with the money, and second of all, he ultimately decides how much he will give and what he wants in return for that money. So unless a man just likes making a woman feel lesser than him, or making her beg or whatever fucking power trip some menĀ  like to go on, a real man would just put it out there, and make a woman feel like she’s worthwhile, and that the money that she is worth is not even a problem to him at all, and that he is more than happy to take care of her.

That’s my rant about that! Haha! So I’m just very appreciative of this guy for being straight up. It’s all I can ask for, especially when just meeting someone. It sucks putting in a bunch of time and energy getting to know someone, and them knowing what you are expecting to some degree, only for them to be wasting your time. Thank you Seeking Arrangement! Good times! Well wish me luck on my date! And I will surely post an update after it happens.

As for my spiritual well being, I have begun praying again, and I find this to actually be very important in my life. I stopped praying for the past couple months, and I found myself drinking more and more, and feeling less and less in touch with myself and my direction in life. So I guess that’s what I really find useful and practical about prayer is that it helps me sum things up, and allows me the time and focus to reflect on what I’ve been up to during my day, and if I had been accomplishing any of my goals, I get a change to put out there into the universe what I desire, I get to ask for what I need, and in turn I may come up with solutions to whatevers going on for me, and I put out positive affirmations. That’s what prayer does for me, and I’m glad to be practicing it again, even if it is just at night. Hopefully I’ll start doing some meditation is my days soon. I need to start getting up earlier to do that though I think. Noon just doesn’t leave me enough time in a day.

Well it’s nice to be introducing myself a little bit, even though I don’t think anyones following me yet. Update tomorrow.