It’s true, that doing the right thing, even when no ones watching, feels really darn good. After making that decision yesterday, I’m feeling a lot better, definately less depressed and more optimistic and content with life. I went out handing out resumes today, it was bright and sunny and fucking freezing, but I was happy and I’m actually really excited to possibly be employed at this really awesome place that is right up my alley, so to say.
And this is just one of a serious of good decisions I’ve made in my first year clean. Yep I’m coming up to my One Year clean!! Wow!! I’ve never, ever been able to kick the drugs for this long, and I’m so proud of myself. Life is amazing, and for once, this feels like a permanent change for me. It’s really amazing and wonderful the relationship I have now with my fam. That means so much more to me than money, or drugs, or dishonesty. That’s one of the main reasons I am able to stay clean, and make good decisions, for the most part any way! Even when I make mistakes, the reason why I care to fix them and learn from them and grow n all that good stuff, is because I hate being dishonest with my family, and it’s so hard to be open about making bad decisions…especially when I don’t want to fix them. Which I inevitably will, but there’s still that time between making the mistake and wanting to fix it. The time when it doesn’t seem like so much of a bad idea, like me with my dream of being an escort, LOL. Not really something ya wanna be talking about to the fam. Get my point? Ya, we’re all human…I just like to write about it!!
Oh, and get this! Today, after I got back from handing out resumes, I got a call from this guy I know (friend in my building) and he let’s me know I have a job for winter with the company he works for, I just have to send in my resume! So it really is true, that good things come to those who try. And it wasn’t even that bad, I just threw myself together and went out with some resumes. It was fucking freezing but I was happy. This is the first time I have gone job hunting for years. After all, the past 3 years I’ve been a dope shootin’ little skank with violent criminal tendancies. Haha. Sounds worse than it is…but it was bad, I was completely insane. I’m surprised I came back from that person, and that I didn’t die.
Anyway, enough of that! Just I’d be completely open and thorough on my blog. I can’t be expressing myself as this person who is just a normal day-to-day average joe, this is my recovery blog..and I have been to fucking hell and back. Thank you for reading!!